Unfortunately, we get to hear about the 9th husband of 90 year old ZsaZsa Gabor again – Prince Freddy von Anhalt. We first heard about him when he threw himself in the ring as Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daddy (not!). Anyway, this whacked out 64 year old dude was photographed after an alleged three chicks pulled up next to him and asked him for a photo but instead whipped out guns (real loaded ones, not like von A-hole’s limp shooter) robbed Freddy, left him naked and cuffed him to his Rolls. There are no witnesses. Hmmm…

Word on the street says that ZsaZsa told daughter Francesca Hilton, who she speaks to daily, “Dahlink, Frederick first said it was three aliens, but I told him to say it was three humans because people would think he was crazy.” It’s too late…

Speaking of crazy, the Prince is feuding with Francesca Hilton (yes of the Paris Hilton clan), who claims she forged Gabor’s signature to take out 2 million bucks on the Gabor Bel Air home as collateral. ZsaZsa was fined $3,800 for not appearing in court recently. The Prince says the former Miss Hungary of 1936 will no longer appear in public and he has no interest in the Bel Air mansion because of a prenup. It’s tough to understand this guy…he must be really out there…

Seems like pregnant and misdirected Nicole Richie will be spending time in the clink, just like her gal pal Paris Hilton. Apparently these babes are being forced to live the Simple Life!

Anyway, in an L.A. County Superior Courtroom, Nicole was sentenced by the court commissioner to serve four days in the City or County Jail – Richie gets to select the luxury lodgings of her choice! Apparently Nicole already has credit for one day because of the six hours she served after the bust so her total time in the pokey will be just three days. She also has to pay a fine of $2,048, endure three years of probation and return to school for an alcohol ed course. Hey, bloggers think that Paris and Nicole could teach an alcohol ed – if it’s about how to get totally drunk and partied out!

With partying in mind, this was Nicole’s second DUI and the commish warned Richie that if she drove drunk again and killed someone (think about Brandy) she could be charged with murder as opposed to manslaughter. Nicole is due to pop out her own little baby new year in January so bloggers think her drinking and partying days are over for awhile anyway. We’ll have to follow Paris Hilton and Kim “The Tush” Kardashian around until Nic gives birth and returns to the scene. Will Richie party like Britney Spears after she has her baby – shaved crotch shots and all? Only time will tell and we’ll be watching…

Okay, so what’s the real deal about the Lindsay Lohan bust? Word on the street says that Jakon Sutter, Ronnie Black and Dante Nigro cruised to Malibu with LiLo’s assistant’s boyfriend. The assistant texted Dante to let him know LiLo was inviting him to a Malibu party that night. The guys all drove to party with the hot babes, but Ronnie and Jakon got rejected while Dante was let in.

Dante went in and did a shot with Lindsay, who was sucking down drinks all night. Linds’ assistant and boyfriend got in tiff outside and LiLo got angry they were bringing the mood down so her assistant quit on the spot. According to Ronnie, Lohan was “raging” and “very messed up”. The guys got ready to cut out in the Dante’s GMC Denali, with the assistant’s boyfriend driving. The boyfriend had other ideas and got out to fight some more with LiLo’s now former assistant. The girl got in her car and left.

At this point, Linds jumped into the Denali, started it and drove off to chase her former assistant. Ronnie jumped out and says LiLo ran over his foot and kept going.

Jakon and Dante said Lohan hit the Pacific Coast highway and Dante tried to grab the wheel. Linds promptly let him know, “If you touch me I’ll sue you” as Jakon begged her to stop because they were going about 100 miles per hour. Wow, just want horny bloggers love – a fast babe! Anyway, the assistant lost LiLo on the highway and Linds went to her mom’s house. The mother just happened to be pulling out of her driveway at the time and freaked out about Lindsay’s driving. Linds began to chase the woman at speeds of 80 miles per hour and blew red lights along the way.

The mother had know idea who was behind the wheel and drove to the police station. She figured out it was LiLo and warned her she’d get in trouble if she didn’t stop. Rumor has it that Lindsay said, “I’m a celebrity. I’m not going to get in trouble. I can do whatever the f—k I want.” Hey, is that so far off when you think of how Kim Kardashian’s dad cut that deal for O.J. Simpson…

Anyway, the two cars stopped in a parking lot close to the police station. The cops arrived and Dante reports that Lindsay told them, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.” Oh, snap, those are some loaded words!

Though apparently Lohan was clueless at that point because she almost fell over when she tried to touch her nose for the field sobriety test. Ronnie says, “It was pretty much the worst night of my entire summer.” Sympathetic bloggers worry that it may be one of the worst nights for Lindsay, too…what if we lose our favorite Firecrotch to jail? At this rate, prison stripes will be a fashion statement.

Okay, horny bloggers have speculated about unlikely liasons such as David Spade and Heather Locklear or David Spade and Pam Anderson. Or how about Criss Angel hanging out with hotties such as Minnie Driver and Cameron Diaz while he’s got a wife waiting at home (who is currently in the process of getting a divorce from our favorite Mindfreak). Wonders never cease and hope lives eternal for pale, anti-social bloggers when they see dudes such as Cisco Adler hook up with babes like Mischa Barton and now…

Paris Hilton. That’s right, everyone’s favorite felon and celebutante was seen sucking face with Adler in a scary scene at Guy’s karaoke night on Tuesday. Unbelievably, this lovely heiress was all over Cisco and couldn’t seem to get enough of his grubby grunge. Is that the secret – be as gross as possible and the hottest babes will come kissing? Although word on the street says that Hilton was belting out her own rendition of “Bette Davis Eyes” and a medley of her hit, “Stars are Blind”. Apparently stars are blind when they get frisky with dudes like Cisco Adler, David Spade and Criss Angel – men we have learned to admire and emulate!

Early yesterday morning, now 21 year old Lindsay Lohan fell off the wagon and got herself into more trouble. Seems that LiLo had her second bust in three months and DUI looks like nothing compared to….

The little personalized packet of cocaine found by the police in in Lindsay’s pants pocket. The L.A. Sheriff’s Department reports that Lohan got it for possession of coke, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving while on a suspended license. Further, word on the street from a law enforcement source connected with LiLo’s bust says that luscious Lindsay was a real bitch in the field and was “uncooperative and showed obvious signs of intoxication”. LiLo refused to comply with a Preliminary Alcohol Screening Device but flunked walking a line. At the police station, Lindsay’s blood alcohol was between .12 and .13, over the .08 limit of the law.

Seems that Lindsay was chasing after a Cadillac Escalade that was being driven by the mom of Lohan’s assistant, who had happened to quit only hours before the incident. Horny bloggers will be terribly disappointed to lose Lindsay again…we just got to ogle over those awesome photos at the Polaroid Beach House…say it isn’t so…

Apparently things did not go okay at Britney Spear’s self-arranged interview with OK! Magazine. The photos of the troubled pop tart are so bad that the magazine execs are undecided about whether they should even report about the experience at all or attempt to clean up Brit’s sh–.

Speaking of cleaning up crap, one of the outrageous things Spears did during the interview was clean up one of her dog’s poop with a Chanel dress – now that’s style, y’all! With southern drawls in mind, Brit also ordered a bunch of fried chicken to munch on during the OK photo shoot and interview. As Spear chowed down on greasy chicken, she wiped her yucky hands on her pricey Gucci dress, staining the dress for the photo shoot with grease. Is that a new fashion statement or the cologne of southern trailer park babes?

Actually, horny bloggers are rather disappointed because Brit usually takes her clothes off or gets violent when she’s erratic – fried chicken just isn’t sexy. Anyway, word on the street says that what happened during the interview was “nothing less than a meltdown” and Brit was “completely out of it.” Her eyes rolled back in her head as she feared the ceiling falling on her. The photos are so crappy that it could “kill her career”. Although sources are unsure, Britney’s mood become increasingly erratic each time she returned from her many trips to the bathroom. We all remember those Lindsay Lohan coke-infused bathroom photos and wonder exactly what Spears was doing in the can…

Although beatniks, hippies, hair rockers and punkers all knew this long ago, seems that drugs are fun and fashionable to the mainstream these days. From Britney Spears, the bald and umbrella-wielding pop tart who entered rehab to Paris Hilton pining in jail for DUI to Lindsay Lohan, a former Disney girl in rehab and snorting lines on film, the beautiful people are all doing it.

Apparently the advertising world has decided to get in on this latest drug taking action. Sisley clothing, who has made other racy ads in the past, surpasses their own shock factor with the latest ad. Two dazed women are leaning over a slinky white dress that represents a pile of cocaine with straws. One chick’s nipple is hanging out in her fervor to get the “coke” and the other chick’s eyes are completely bugging out in a scary, Kate Moss sort of way. While one of the girls looks like she may forget her clothes at some point (hey, who will ever forget those awesome crotch shots of Brit and LiLo?) the other looks ready to overdose. Is this what it take to get young girls to notice today? If horny bloggers only knew sooner…

Anyway, seems that even white bred dudes are in on the drug action. Al Gore III, the 24 year old son of Vice President Al Gore, was formally charged with possession of marijuana and prescription drugs such as Adderall (wasn’t that what Paris was taking for ADD in prison?), Vicodin, Xanax and Valium. Anyone want to chill out and get some munchies while we ponder these mysteries for awhile?

Lindsay Lohan handled her official arrest on Thursday afternoon rather quietly. Word on the street says that Lohan simply walked into the Beverly Hills Police Department and accepted her arrest for the DUI that happened back in May.

Linds was held in police custody at 4 PM for only about an hour and then got released on her own recognizance. According to folks at the police department, LiLo was very “pleasant and cooperative” - not yielding a knife, it seems, or revealing any body parts. The luscious Lindsay was charged with driving around with a blood alcohol level that was higher than .08 along with a misdemeanor hit and run. It seems, from word on the street, that being cited and released is a routine process for folks arrested for DUI and Linds was doing her duty dutifully.

Lindsay has to return to court on August 24. In the meantime, the Los Angeles District Attorney does not intend to charge her with DUI today so she has the weekend free! Horny bloggers rejoice at the thought of LiLo, free to go and party all weekend. On Monday, will we have Firecrotch shots, knife photos with other hot babes, bikini romps, coke snorting or just a drunken stupor – we sure hope so, LiLo!

Horny bloggers were admittedly disappointed when Dave Beckham hid his wife Posh Spice’s womanly assets with his hand as she exited the car in one of her notoriously short skirts. Seems that Paris Hilton, for some unknown reasons, felt an affinity with Posh and even thought they could be “soul mates”. A British tabloid reported that Paris told a pal that she and Posh could be close friends.

Apparently Posh has other ideas about Paris’ statement and Victoria’s secret is definitely going to remain that way. As shown by the demure behavior of Becks and Posh the other day, Posh claims she refuses to be as “flashy” as Paris. In fact, word on the street says that Posh spoke to a legitimate pal about Paris’ statements and said, “Over my dead body! We couldn’t be more different. You won’t catch me falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on.”

Seems that Posh has yet to really arrive in America. Isn’t she aware that the current trend in Hollywood is to reveal your busty assets and Firecrotch, just like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian? Bloggers are hopeful that Posh will catch on and let us see a little spice soon…

We’ve gotten some great glimpses of panties or the panty-less, thanks to the enduring efforts of paparazzi. From Britney Spears to Paris Hilton to Lindsay Lohan of Firecrotch fame, horny bloggers have enjoyed the assets of many Hollywood babes in short skirts.

The newest babe to hit the circuit in America, Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham, apparently has a bodyguard with vested interests in her assets – soccer playing hubby David Beckham. As the paps tried to snap a shot of Posh’s spice, she held her pricy purse over her assets, moved sideways and David’s hand covered up what will remain a secret that belongs to Victoria for the time being…

Or maybe the Brits just don’t get how it’s done yet. While hubby revels in his pro soccer contract, Victoria attempted to lure the American public with her TV reality show, hoping to appear less sour to everyone. Apparently her efforts were somewhat successful considering the New York Post comments that the show was an “orgy of self-indulgence” and Beckham was “vapid and condescending”. Maybe if David moves his hand and uses it to video Posh Spice in action he would be able to rival giants such as Ray-J and Kim Kardashian…now that’s what America wants…