Mystified bloggers have been wondering what happened with Criss Angel, who was seen around town with Britney Spears after being spotted with honeys such as Minnie Driver, Lindsay Lohan and Cameron Diaz. The Mindfreak had whined that he was just helping Spears out with her act and apparently, it’s the truth.

Britney is looking for a way to disappear from the stage (we could really go off on that statement but we won’t) and it is rumored to be happening at the MTV Video Music awards. Word on the street says that Spears will vanish and reappear several times during her performance, thanks to magic man Criss Angel and her dancers will be harnessed for “simulated flight”. We wonder if Angel can also make Britney’s talents reappear…

Anyway, with appearances in mind, Britney’s former manager was finally served, despite his efforts to stay out of the Spears/Federline custody battle. Recent resources revealed that Brit earns over $700,000 every month – not too shabby, y’all, despite those bad hair days! K-Fed currently gets $20,000 in spousal support every month, which will end in November – seemingly the cause of his recent 70/30 custody battle with Brit. His attorney is also looking for Britney to pay all the costs since she’s the major bread earner. Hey, what about K-Fed’s big TV gig? We think he already spent what he earned on the body guard and cab ride from the shoot…

Britney Spears was tooling around in her brand new white Mercedes in Beverly Hills when her ride suddenly came to a screaming halt (no, this time it’s not because she hit into another vehicle trying to park, y’all). Seems that much like her recent love life, Brit’s car ran out of gas with Jayden James and Sean Preston looking on at mom with disapproval (no matter how many men get disgusted with Spears, horny bloggers still love her). A few men in uniform came to help this delicious damsel in distress – the Beverly Hills police! The cops happened to be in the area and helped Spears to a gas station. After getting Brit back on the road, she was slapped with a parking ticket outside a shop she was checking out, proving Spears will never be a candidate for mensa…

Word on the street says that Britney’s bodyguard was driving when the car ran out of gas and we wonder how long this dude will keep his job, considering Spears’ recent spree of firing employees. In fact, rumor says that K-Fed will be looking to nail a subpoena on Brit’s famous former manager, Larry Rudolph. Larry says that, “ Despite the things that Britney has publicly said about our relationship in the past, I truly understand where she’s coming from and why she’s said the things she said about me post-rehab and I don’t take it personally. As her former manager, I know and understand Britney better than anyone, I know what makes her tick and I understand everything she’s going through. With that being said, my loyalty will always stay strong with Britney. I have consulted with my lawyers and I do understand that eventually the time will come when they will find me, but until then, I’m trying to avoid being brought into this mess. She’s going through so much right now and I wish Britney the best.” Wonder of the rest of her former staff will be so kind…

While Amy Winehouse basks on the beaches of the Caribbean after cutting out of rehab, luscious Long Island Lolita Lindsay Lohan is still hanging around at that rehab in Utah. The latest news from rehab it that apparently LiLo and overspoken momma Dina will finally let her publicity-seeking papa see her at the facility. It was Dina’s bro’s idea and papa Lohan will visit Lindsay later in this week under the supervision of facility counselors. A friend reports that, “It will not be alone.” What are they afraid of – dad will bring some drinks (coke anyone?) and the two will start to party hearty together right in rehab?

Anyhow, to make this possible, Dina had to have a restraining order against Michael Lohan lifted because, “Lindsay needs to deal with this and needs closure.” Is it a possible like father, like daughter situation? With boozing it up and getting in trouble in mind, Lindsay just finished off the deal about her DUI and related charges and has agreed to serve a whopping one day in jail – we wonder, will it be only around an hour, considering the very brief period Nicole Richie “served”? Bloggers have to agree that Paris Hilton got the real deal compared to Lindsay and Nicole – celebutante Hilton must be really pissed off right about now through she did seem pretty happy sporting her new bob and partying in Vegas recently…

While Britney worries about the condition of her hair and K-Fed get a bodyguard to escort him to his taxi after his television gig, the custody battle was almost killing people – just not the unhappy former couple.

Apparently the counter-terror commando, Aaron Cohen, famous for serving everyone in the Spears-Federline custody dispute was attempting to serve another subpoena last night – but not without risk. Cohen was attempting to serve Sam Osama Lufti (connection to Britney still unknown) and Lufti recognized Cohan and reportedly jammed his silver Mercedes SL into the commando’s Buick. After this, Lufti allegedly randomly rammed into a Range Rover. LAPD is investigating the incident and Lufti is the suspect – of assault with a deadly weapon with a vehicle. What’s the deal?!

With what the heck is happening in mind, Amy Winehouse was spotted sunning with her hubby in the Caribbean after their bloody brawl and rehab stint – nothing like a little island paradise to improve the mood, huh….apparently Amy is living up (or down) to her song and not going to rehab after all. Hey, didn’t rehab do wonders for Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan? Then again, maybe Amy has the right idea…just as long as she doesn’t have kids with that hanger-on husband…

Seems that Paris Hilton was doomed to do the most time in jail. Lindsay Lohan was able to cop a plea and Nicole Richie spent a whopping 82 minutes behind bars, so Paris Hilton stands the record for feminine jail time for her partying ways.

Now the UK has imported their own popwreck to add to the collection of partying girls gone wild (and bad). Apparently Amy Winehouse is rivaling Paris, LiLo, Nicole and Britney Spears with her partying ways. In fact, a recent story seems to rival the coke snorting photos of Lindsay Lohan in the bathroom. A fan reports that they ran into Winehouse at a Chicago Lollapalooza festival gig and that Amy fired up a crack pipe right in the ladies’ room. Prior to Amy lighting up, security had gotten everyone out of the can but the fan states that “I had met her previously, so she let me stay. She didn’t exactly ask me to smoke, but she did bust it out in front of me…She was spacey, totally out of it. She was hanging all over me and kept apologizing. She kept looking at herself in the mirror and said over an over again, ‘I am so sorry’”.

Word on the street also says that after a rehab blowout, Amy Winehouse and hubby Blake Fielder-Civil are cracking up though it seems Amy is denying it. Could it be Amy’s crack – you know the one she’s always showing with a thong revealed or the one she can’t stop lighting up? Rumor is sure to tell us soon…

So what’s the deal with Lindsay Lohan’s arrest and rehab anyway? Yesterday LiLo reached a plea deal on misdemeanor driving drunk and cocaine charges. Her sentence is a whole day on jail, 10 days of community service and completion of a drug treatment program.

Guess that horny bloggers won’t get any hot footage of Lindsay getting desperate for action while in jail with the other female inmates…what a disappointment, just like Paris Hilton. Anyhow, Lohan did get 36 months probation, an 18 month alcohol education program (hey does that mean you learn about booze and get samples), hundreds of dollars in fines (equal to a pack of gum for loaded LiLo) and a three day coroner program that includes a field trip a morgue and rapping with victims of drunken drivers. Lindsay said, “It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. I broke the law and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case.” According to Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers, “She’s getting what everyone else would get.” Now that the smoke has cleared, we wonder when we will get to see Lindsay and some Firecrotch action again…

Apparently the UK has their own Lindsay Lohan. Remember LiLo’s bout with “exhaustion” that ultimately led to rehab? While babes such as Lindsay and Britney Spears were spending their time in rehab, British soul singer was crooning about Rehab – and that she wasn’t going…after all, her daddy said she was fine. Seems that daddy-o and ironically named Winehouse don’t think she’s fine anymore. Amy Winehouse checked in the the UK Causeway rehabilitation clinic with newlywed hubby Blake Fielder-Civil a few days after being admitted to the hospital for infamous “exhaustion”. (Hey didn’t exhaustion plague funny man Dave Chappelle awhile back, too?)

Anyway, Amy already bolted from rehab but returned for a second time on August 19, according to word on the street. Rumor also has it that Winehouse and hubby were having screaming matches while they stayed at the Causeway attempting to fight their substance abuse problems. Apparently critically acclaimed Amy has a clearly documented history of grappling with alcohol and drug abuse, as well as an eating disorder. Whine-house whined to the press, “I know I’m talented, but I wasn’t put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mom and to look after my family. I love what I do, it it’s not where it begins and ends.” Guess only time will tell where it begins and ends for Winehouse as we watch the progress of our own Lindsay Lohan in rehab…

Will luscious Lindsay Lohan get away with her latest dirty deeds? Seems that law enforcement officials are stating it is a “strong possibility” that the Los Angeles County District Attorney office does not intend to file felony charges against LiLo for her two DUI arrests.

If charges are filed, word on the street says it will be tomorrow. Apparently the District Attorney is close to rejecting three possible felonies. Word on the street stay that is it highly unlikely that the District Attorney will file cocaine charges in connection with the Memorial Day weekend DUI bust in Beverly Hills. With regard to Lohan’s arrest on July 24, the District Attorney will probably not charge her with felony cocaine possession and bringing coke into a correctional facility – although it could be done.

Lindsay’s powerhouse attorney Blair Berk and prosecutors have been have quite a few conversations, which could add up to a potential plea bargain. It seems that both incidents will be misdemeanor DUI charges and if LiLo is found guilty of those two charges, she could serve a minimum of four days in jail. Not too shabby for Firecrotch! Somehow we don’t think the results would be the same for voyeuristic bloggers…

Anyhow, if Lindsay isn’t charged with a felony she doesn’t have to attend the arraignment on Friday – and if we were gambling bloggers, we’d say don’t count on her presence…

Apparently “meter maid” officer L. Salgado will not be patrolling the city pending an investigation of an incident involving beautiful babe and bikini model Vida Guerra. Seems that Salgado requested a naked photo of vivacious Vida after issuing her a parking ticket. Apparently Salgado was overheard saying to Guerra’s friend, “You got a naked picture of her, we make the price stay right.” Salgado is officially suspended because of his desperate (and inaccurate) demands.

With sexy photos in mind, horny bloggers are celebrating the 18th birthday of hottie Hayden Panettiere today – no longer is it illegal to think illicit thoughts about her in that cheerleader uniform! But don’t get too excited about it dudes – Hayden thinks her pal Mario Lopez (only 34) is too old for her. However, hope (and certain body parts) spring eternal because when the paps told Hayden she was old enough to buy cigarettes, she countered that she was also old enough to buy porn. This babe has already got us with that statement! Do you think we can look forward to some exciting porn from now-adult pop tart Panettiere in the near future? Will she join the ranks of lusty ladies we love on film, such as Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson? Only time will tell…but we’re watching and waiting in the meantime.

Was everyone partying without popwreck Britney Spears this past weekend? Troubled Brit has experienced bald rages, horrendous weaves, custody battles with unemployed loser ex-husband Kevin Federline and most recently seen around town with grungy Mindfreak Criss Angel but this weekend her associates seemed to be having all the action.

Spears’ now infamous assistant Alli Sims was spotted partying it up without Brit at Wilmer Valderrama’s party at the Polaroid House and Alli reported about her boss, “She’s home right now.” Is Britney trying to be Supermom before the big custody debate?

Meanwhile, Criss Angel is known to move fast – from Minnie Driver to Cameron Diaz to Britney Spears and now was seen hanging out at a Midsummer Night’s Party with Playboy models. Angel states about the rumored romance with Spears, “We were talking about how she wants to do something more with the [awards] show, and about me helping out and hoping to work with her on doing something to make her MTV appearance more innovative. It’s amazing how you can’t do anything now without people making up stuff.”

However, there might be a knight in shining armor in Britney’s future yet. Donald Trump, dude with hair as bad at Brit’s, feels the popwreck is a “[bleeping] mess” and is negotiating to have her appear on “Celebrity Apprentice”. Could this breathe a bit of life into Brit’s career?